Father's Day

Father's Day Images: My dad, Ward Shenk and Jerry's dad, Henry Gibson.

Although about as different as two men could be, they did both have strong love for their family. Both knew how to work hard and both liked to laugh.

Father's from that generation didn't know all the "book rules and ramifications" of fatherly actions. They simply knew they should work hard to provide for their families, love a lot and model their parents. With that criteria, they did well.

It's sometimes easy to judge our folks parenting skills by today's rules. Each generation of children has no idea what their parents when through or how our grandparents played such an important role in forming our parents. I know my children don't know many of the things that shaped my parenting skills or what I had to deal with when I was parenting them that led to my decisions and actions.

As I've researched the heritage of the Shenks, I've looked at a lot of Mennonite literature. It's apparent that much of dad's parenting style was handed down through that value system. Often strict, it was based on the religious and social rules that governed their lives.

Both men grew up in the generation where the father had the ultimate say on everything. Many tempered that behind the scene with their wives but to the children, father was king of the hill. It is actually quite Biblical in how they lived their role as father and head of the family.

Although both fathers could be a bit difficult in their later years because they both needed our care but didn't like it one bit having to take that care and what they perceived as loss of authority. I think that was pretty typical, too.

Forgiving our parents for doing too much of something or not enough of something else is a gift not only to them but to ourselves. Admitting they were human and doing the best they knew how to do at the time is an example to the next generation - and the next.

On Fathers' Day, it's good to remember that all their actions towards their children were based on love and that's all that really needs to be remembered. A legacy all generations can hope they leave behind.